Expectations. Stress. Loved.

Sometimes people expect too much of them self. Sometimes others expect too much of our self. For me, its both.

The dinning table Model I’ve been working on for the past few days, is currently undergoing a 3rd remake. As this is a important model to me, because it is the main setting of my Animation, I’ve the need and obligation to make it as good as possible. I know I’ve just started on 3D modeling, but theres no reason for me to give up trying to do complicated stuff. I can’t get the kind of feel I want for the table, and gradually, I don’t know what I want. Each time I open up the program, I look at the table, and I don’t know what to do, where to continue, what I can do.

I’m asking myself, “What am I sitting here doing, I’m suppose to do my Models.”

I know I have the answer to that question, “Whats the use of doing, Its going to look the same and fake as the previous model.”

As always, even during my Flash Animation moments, I get into a stalemate and I don’t know what else I can do. It sucks to know that you’ve tried almost everything you can and you’re still here. Its like running for god knows how long and when you stop, panting, feeling satisfied that you’ve just finished the race, and you see yourself at the same F**king spot.

Expectations from myself are always hard on me, especially when I don’t meet them.

Ever since the day I decided not to contact her, the question always pops up. Am I doing something wrong? Did I just do something bastard? Sometimes when I see her nick, or recall the things she said, I just feel that, I could have done better, or have I already did my best.. Am I really what she said?

Guilt.

Expectations from others, depends on how you view them, are perspective-based. The more important those expectations are, the more you’ll feel burdened.

Channel 8 was just showing 我不是不想听话. This show brings us to some parents, who are having problems with their kids, and when I say kids, they are really kids, ranging from 2 to 7 years old. An interesting perspective of both parents and experts, giving advise on how to handle some typical kids problems.